2009 Naplan Writing Prompt

This is a great example of using dialogue. Well-punctuated.

 

 

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2009 Naplan Writing Prompt

via Stuart's Blog For English by Stuart.Bridges on 2/6/11

The year is 4030 the month is January the person is Jack Auralien and he has discovered the 1st plannet that is more than 5 billion light years away but it dosn't take 5 billions years to get their they have invented hyperspeed which travels at whatever speed  you require so it took Jack 5 minutes to get their because he likes to have some time in space. Jack Auralien is 30 he has brown hair but he always has it in a buzz cut he has violet eyes and he is quite tall. He is on the ship the "Space Conquerer". He is right above the world 18323 the 183 planet found by him and his number in the Interplanetary Expedition force. They are the explorer of the League of Planets, Earth, Mars, Pluto, Venus, Cadia and about 150 others rethese people asses and see if planets are habitable, already inhabited or violent against the League of Planets. His expeditionary force consists of 10 men including Jack, he is the Platoons Lieutenant, their is Sargent Bob, Corporal Gene, Corporal Sam, Corporal Edd, Private Harry, Private Chris, Private Ray, Private Jim and Private Stuart.

 The men are mustered around a holographic map in the Ships 2nd room that has their gear food bunks and weapons. "Okay men so here we are at 18323 our 183 planet found so lets get it over and done with" Said Jack to the troops, "Jim what's the scans say?"

"the scans say their is life forms that are in a primitive level, so this will be a habitation Sir." said Jim very bleakly as if without interest.

"O.k. Bob get me on the horn to Cadia and tell them we have found a base and are landing shortly." Said Jack while pulling on his Armour and grabbing his Laser rifle off the shelf.

"Yes Sir!" Said Bob with an undying loyalty and energy for his Lieutenant.

"Harry I want scans on the plannets Gas levels" Said Jack while pulling on his full face helmet

"No need for that sir its the same as Cadia so we can all breathe perfectly down their."

"Good, Chris whats their gravity like?"

"they have 1/20 as strong gravity as ours so things are little more heavy down their." Said Chris Bleakly.

"Okay guys same deal, Suit up and ship out on the Hells Wings, we are making land fall so check weapons and Stuart start doing some Pre-flight Checks. okay so here is the deal as always if the begins are sentient and intelligent we ask them to join our league if not we leave it for the reviewers and if they are hostile we wait for reinforcements and remember the Hells wings has many weapons and i have got us a Wellington hover tank if we need it. So all aboard the Hells Wings NOW!!!." Jack instructed them.

"Welcome aboard Hells wings flight 1984 to 18323 please remain seated and have you tray tables up and guns on safety. Ok we are clear for landing get this show on the road."

The flight down from the orbiting shuttle took 10 Minutes and it took another 10 minutes to find a suitable spot to land. When they landed millions of birds and other animals ran away or took flight to get away form the shuttle. The shuttle is a mean looking thing it has a slanted nose with 2 front mounted laser cannons which can shred tank amour as easily as a hot knife through butter, if has 2 missile pods loaded with HE round for lightly armoured take down, it has a crew compartment which looks like a metal box shoved in the middle in that compartment it can seat 30 people easily and has 2 useable Gatling guns for quick take down of infantry. The wings are slanted and they come out of the box and the thrusters stick out of the box on the top.

 

 

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